Romance isn't Dead: What I Liked This Week #25
*Marlon Brando voice* "Chemistry?" *Jean Simmons voice* "Yeah, chemistry"
Happy February! In the spirit of all things love, I’ve tried to focus this fine newsletter on Romances somewhat. I’m aware that it is now past Presidents’ Day, aka catch up on your newsletter writing and reading day for all white women in Brooklyn, and not even close to Valentine’s Day, but to quote my favorite romance: “A Queen is never late. Everyone else is simply early.”
TV: The Artful Dodger, Mr. and Mrs. Smith, Percy Jackson
Are there no new ideas? Must everything be created from existing IP? In a word, yes. Unfortunately. But a good TV writer can turn an existing story or character into something new and fresh and that’s thrilling.
Like, remember the Artful Dodger from Oliver! the musical (or Oliver Twist I guess)? Of course, you do. Every little girl wanted to be him and/or was in love with him. Well let me take you on a thought experiment: What if ol’ Dodge went to prison, grew up, joined the Navy, became a surgeon, ended up in the new colony of Australia, and then fell in love with the Governor’s daughter, all while running heists with Fagin and a group of Indigenous Australians? I know this sounds like the sort of absurd fanfiction I might think up1 during a bought of insomnia, but it is a real actual Hulu show. And weirdly enough, The Artful Dodger is pretty damn good.
The show’s cast is almost as odd as its premise, starring Thomas Brodie-Sangster (the unaging vampire boy from Love, Actually), Maia Mitchell (of Teen Beach Movie fame), David Thewlis (Professor Lupin) and Tim Minchin (playwright and composer of Matilda the musical). Still, I’ll be real, somehow they work together! Brodie-Sangster, Mitchell, and Thewlis not only manage to sell the plot, they also have very nice chemistry. Enough so that I didn’t even mind that Brodie-Sangster and Mitchell were making eyes at each other over a man’s spleen, or that at one point, Thewlis accidentally blew up a dead body and ended up covered in guts. You know me, give me a bunch of heists, an enemies to lovers-esque romance, and a loose commentary on colonialism, and I am sold.
I’ve never actually seen the original Mr. and Mrs. Smith, although I’m sure I’d like it (spies…hot people…etc). However, as far as I can tell, Donald Glover and Francesca Sloane’s new show is a reboot in name only. Starring Glover alongside Maya Erskine as the titular John and Jane Smith, the show follows two strangers who pose as husband and wife while they work risky and unethical jobs for an mysterious company.
Although very tonally different from The Artful Dodger, this show feels equally fresh and playful (if perhaps more violent). Yes, there are bodies thrown into the compost, people getting shot in the face, and of course, death by machete. But despite each episode’s routine Bloody Scene, despite the slow, unconventional pace of the show, Mr and Mrs. Smith is without a doubt, a rom-com.
It’s an odd rom-com, one that feels almost psychological in nature, proving that if two people go through enough together, generally get along, and are physically attracted to one another, their pasts truly don’t matter. Jane doesn’t need to know John’s real name, and nor does the audience - we fall in love with him anyway, because he’s funny and loves his mom and can rock a turtleneck. Of course, it’s not all marital bliss. It’s hard to mix business and pleasure, and when the person you’re sleeping with is also the person your murdering people with, you’re bound to run into some issues. Lucky for Jane and John, Therapist Sarah Paulson and her beautiful home of antiques are available to help.
I’ve heard some people say that this show’s ending feels anti-climatic, or that it misses the mark. And I get that to a certain extent. If you’re watching Mr and Mrs. Smith for the mystery and you need to know who Jane and John work for, you might be disappointed. But, if like me, you’re happy watching two weird, messy people learn to connect, I think you’ll be perfectly content.
I’ve left the trickiest piece of pre-existing IP for last. Percy Jackson and the Olympians. Sigh. Sighsighsigh. There is a way to make a tonally accurate TV show adaptation of a children’s book. A Series of Unfortunate Events did it perfectly on Netflix. The Mysterious Benedict Society on Disney+ came close. I’m not sure why they missed the mark on Percy Jackson. I liked watching this show. I was thrilled to get to watch this show - what a treat! But in all honesty, it is not very good.
For those who live under a rock, Percy Jackson is based on a very funny, very exciting, and very quick-paced series of books about the children of Greek gods. While TV Show Percy and his friends are certainly concerned with their parentage, the mood of Percy Jackson is shockingly somber, the pace slow (and stilted by fade-to-blacks for commercial breaks). Percy, Annabeth and Grover are still heroes who fight monsters and gods alike, but the magic is missing. I wanted jokes and larger-than-life gods who are equal parts terrifying and ridiculous. Instead, I got Percy and Annabeth having heavy conversations about their parents every 10 minutes, and a show where somehow one of the best performances by an adult is by Lin Manuel Miranda. Which is saying something, and it isn’t saying something great. Go Wes.
I think it’s possible for Percy Jackson to improve in its second season. Stepping into the lead trio, Walker Scobell, Leah Jeffries, and Aryan Simhadri are obviously novice actors, but I’m happy to watch them grow and improve. I see the sparks of Annabeth in Leah, the appropriate amount of smart-aleck Percy in Walker, and the Beth-March-sincerity of Grover in Aryan. We just need to give them someone else in the writers’ room. Maybe a woman. Or a comedian. Or better yet, a lady comedian. Or even better, me. It’s hard to make something that is the most anticipated show of the year for everyone between the ages of 15 and 25 that is also for Disney and also for children. But I think it’s doable. If Rick Riordan and his writers room are looking for comedic inspiration, I’d simply tell them to read the dam(n) books.2
Movies: Upgraded, Good Grief, Mean Girls, American Fiction, Plus One
WOW I have not been keeping up with my Substacking and we have a lot of movies! I’ll be brief, and bookend it with two rom-coms I watched recently:
Upgraded: Honestly, I love Camila Mendes. Thank you Riverdale for Camila Mendes. This is sort of a rom-com and mostly a girl-boss adventure flick. Very watchable, I’m glad to see Mal from Shadow and Bone in a less annoying role.
Good Grief: I also love Dan Levy, of course. This is sad and sweet and mostly unremarkable, but it does have a really lovely scene in l’Orangerie, which makes it worth it.
Mean Girls: IMAGINE A PARTY WITH PRESENTS AND CAKE. AND SINGING AND DANCING AND CAKE.3 This musical is Not good. We are aware of this, and we must simply move past it. With that in mind, I did really enjoy this movie. The songs have terrible lyrics (see above) but are also kind of bops? and Jimmy Award Winner Renee Rapp and Moana, Auli’i Cravalho can do no wrong in my eyes. AngourieRicedoesn’tsingwell. That’s all.
American Fiction: This is a weird description, but if this was a play and I read it in like 2018 I would have EATEN IT UP. As such, I still thought it was great. The writing is smart and funny and appropriately over the top, performed with precision by Jeffery Wright. If you’re looking for an Oscar nominee to watch that will make you think but probably won’t make you cry, this is a good pick.
Plus One: Emily Henry, if you are reading this, Maya Erskine and Jack Quaid are your stars for the People We Meet on Vacation movie. Emily Henry, please, I need to see their specific vibes and chemistry in this movie in a different movie with a better script. Emily Henry, it is available for streaming on Netflix, you can watch it now for inspiration.
Theater: Once Upon a Mattress, Sunset Baby
Oh, Sutton Foster. Love her or hate her, you have to give her credit: That is a 48-year-old woman who can do the splits. The role of Fred in Once Upon a Mattress feels tailor-made for Foster - it’s a hyper-athletic comedy role that reads as a supporting role (or “princess track” lol) but is actually the lead. However, I wonder if this means that Foster didn’t really need to, well, ~try~ in the role. I’m sure it was very hard going back and forth from Mrs. Lovett rehearsals4 for Sweeney Todd to this, but it seemed Foster was maybe phoning it in a bit. This is not me trying to come for Foster - I do think she’s very talented, but she didn’t stand out any more than Michael Urie or Cheyenne Jackson.
Once Upon a Mattress is a show where you pretty much get exactly what you expect. I mean, it’s a 2-hour retelling of The Princess and the Pea that was originally written in 1958 to be performed at an adult summer camp. The plot is flimsy at best, the characterization is campy, there’s a belty song AND a shiny soprano song (Nikki Renee Daniels sounds beautiful as Lady Larkin). I would have liked if it was a little more romantic, to match my taste and also the theme of this newsletter, but Fred and her prince are more two kindred goofballs than two lovers. In other words, it’s the perfect show to spend $35 and watch in a 2,257-seat theater that is filled with children.
The other show that I saw recently was Sunset Baby, at my work! I don’t yet have a full sense of my own personal ethics of writing about theater at my work, but I do think Sunset Baby is worth mentioning. A revival of one of Dominique Morisseau’s earliest plays, Sunset Baby is a tightly wound exploration of independence, an elegy for Nina Simone, Afeni Shakur, and other Black revolutionaries. Perhaps more than that though, it’s a family play, where fathers are absent but trying to reconnect, and mothers hover just out of reach. I’m wary of family plays, but I like pieces that balance real-feeling characters and lyrical dialogue, which I think Sunset Baby achieves. Dominique is a brilliant writer who has such intentionality in both her work and her activism that is deeply special to see up close. And if you’d like to hear her writing out loud, I can help you get tickets :)
Books: As always, plenty of things
I’ve been going on a literary JOURNEY as I often do. I’ve read Fourth Wing (good for horny girls who liked Harry Potter fanfic), The Heaven and Earth Grocery Store (Literary), The Memory Police (ominous, Lily Gladstone will crush the adaptation), You, Again (skip and rewatch When Harry Met Sally instead), half of My Brilliant Friend (library hold expired), and plenty of plays. I haven’t read anything yet this year that I’ve loved, but the year is young. If there are any books you’ve read and loved lately, send them my way!
Buh-Bye
That’s it! Pretty cool to be on What I Liked This Week #25 - thanks for reading! If you would like to read other things I worked on, this essay is great and so are these pieces on The Sensational Sea Mink-ettes. Stay tuned for TEETH the musical, The Notebook (also the musical), and Illinoise (the theatrical-album-interpretation-dance-piece).
I lied. This isn’t something I would come up with, bc I historically have been very squeamish and don’t like blood or surgeries.
This is actually an inside joke for fans of the Percy Jackson books, and it is actually hilarious.
This link is not for my mother or grandmother, but if you are not them haven’t seen this Tina Fey clip yet, you gotta. Also side note - who remembers when during the summer of 2020, Barret Wilbert Weed (original MG musical Janis) said that she related to the Black Lives Matter Movement bc her “dad grew up on the wrong side of the tracks” and bc she was Italian. Hope she’s well.
Wanna talk about the Sutton Foster Sweeney Todd bootlegs? GOD me too. Text me.